Events from 40 years ago are etched into my life in surprising ways. After a decade of assassinations and riots, growing unease about the Vietnam War and the exercise of power culminated in deep rage disillusionment when Nixon announced that we had invaded Cambodia. I have placed on shallow trust in any politician of party since. When a few days later the National Guard opened fire on both demonstrating students and those just walking to their next class, and few days later the Youngstown police felt it necessary to respond to a peaceful vigil with riot gear, and a few days later, police killed two more students at Jackson State (Miss.), it became clear to me that real change would be received as a threat worthy of violence and that oppression could be undermined only with the subversive power of love and radical trust in the Realm of God. Seek it first. Remember this day the 50,000+ who fell in Vietnam, the six who fell in May 1970 and all those who labor for peace even now.

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At a very early age children are quizzed, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Often the answers are combinations of tv shows, the parents occupations or something they’ve gleaned from a children’s book. Children respond with some pretty cute combinations: I want to be a ballerina astronaut! Or I want to play the guitar and be a deep sea diver? (At the same time? Adults wonder?)

Of course the questions gets more and serious as we progress through our schooling and face the day when we will be making our own way on our own resources. Then we have to assess talent, interest, earning potential, job possibilities. Notice, however, the way the question seems always to center on occupation and unless prompted neglects other possible answers.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Would any of us answer, I want to grow up poor? I want to live in someone else’s house and do their chores for them? Would any of us answer, I want to grow up in challenging times and take whatever job I could? There is a whole generation of Americans who faced very lean times and whose prospects weren’t so bright as we have come to expect ours to be, even in this recession.

Bea grew up in these times. She was “farmed” out to a more prosperous family as what was called a char-girl. For room and board, they were expected to clean, cook, do chores on the farm, even at 6, 8 or even ten years old. (I know this because my own grandmother experienced this as young girl.) Who knows what Bea would have answer to the question, What do you want to be when you grow up?

I wonder though what she would have answered as she grew into adulthood, married and had her own children. If someone would have told her then that she would live to 105, could she have articulated what was apparently her sub conscious, if not, conscious answer: I want to be a feisty, fun and faithful senior citizen. I want to be helpful to others, I want to be my great-grand son’s buddy.

When we are children, it’s natural to be focused what it will take to truly enter the adult world. But clearly there are other things to consider about our adult years than occupation. What kind of a man or woman will we be? What kind of human being will we be? What mark do we wish leave on those precious others who are in our relationship circle? Our children, our parents, our husband or wife, our grandchildren..let alone those beyond our family.

Bea may never have had the opportunity to make the kind of choices we all take for granted about her vocation, but she did have choices about her avocation. Our vocation is what we end up doing for a living, but our avocation refers to a sense of call…and a call means that someone else has a voice in this whole matter.

As people of faith, we have should have an acute awareness that our lives are not our own, but a gift from God. And since it is a gift, we are but stewards of our time here, even if that time is three score and ten or five score and five. Bea, it seems, found a way to let her personality shine through all the hard times she faced—her childhood, the death of her first husband, both of her adult children—she knew the ways to make sure others around her knew that they were loved and valuable. (Listen to all of the stories told of her this morning.) And in a way both gentle and solid, she lived in divine grace and hope. A long time member at Community Christian Church in North Canton, and found ways to serve others, especially at St. Luke’s. Well before she became a resident there, she was a volunteer. And even after she was a resident, she found multiple ways to love and serve both staff and residents in whatever way she could.

I have to admit that I am only guessing, but experience tells me that what I am about to say is true. The older Bea became, the more she looked forward to the fulfillment of the promises of Christ…That through her faith and trust, through her life of faithful loving and serving, she would enjoy the gift of eternal life…that when her time came to answer the door…to finally hear it clearly…to have finally fulfilled all the days that God had written in her book…she could open that door and be met the Master, the savior.

This has been a long life..this has been a life keyed by the gifts of joy, love and faith. For those of you who have been the beneficiaries of Bea’s life…by all means be thankful. But also take your own cue from her. Live out your days so that when Jesus come knocking, you too can be welcomed home.

Just a few words today, even though it has been months since I wrote anything.  Normally I get a bad case of the humbugs during the the Christmas season. The pressures of pastoral ministry and family would make me cranky.  I have generally been less anxious, but surprisingly so this season.

One breakthrough insight for me:  The core of the season is a mirrored event in the life of God ( Incarnation) and in our lives (grace).  For God so loved the world…

A blessed Christmas to all

We learned this afternoon that we may not be ale to re-schedule a visit here until 2011.  That is too long between mission opportunities.

A few of us have discussed having an at home Mission week.  Other congregations have done this, so it is not an original idea, I know.  It would open up opportunties for more people to connect their abilities and gifts to tangible projects.   those of us who have beenhere repeatedly, have a snese of investment in the recovery of the Gulf Coast and Biloxi.  We take pride in saying, “we worked on that house, or helped the family who lived there.”

An attractive idea, we’ll see if we cannt garner some energy for it.

We have from Stark County, primarily from Trinity UCC, but other congregations as well.  We are here to work for a good purpose: 18,000 people still have not permanent home on the gulf coast.  So today we worked…a lot…in terrible heat and humidity.   some really extended themselves to advance the projects.

As much as working together is our focus, we also a community in mission.  Only a couple of us of are good friends with others on the trip.  But here we are cooperating on meals, sharing sleepng quarters, and “personal space.”  I canot help but be grateful that there is so much good humar and feeling.  So much cooperation.  So little gripe-ing.  there is some,of course.  But what I observe is a determination to make things work.

I am reminded of a comment of my “unchurched” son, who accompanied us on a previous mission trip here.   After spending most ofthe week with us, he told me that this was a very imporant experience for him.  for the first time, he was with people who were both Christians and real, tha tis were expressing their faith in authentic and practical ways.  that this was a possibility was signficiant for his won values and searching.

Such community cannot be created, it is grace, perhaps specifically related to the seven gifts of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  At this point I am less willing to analyze it than enjoy it.  And thank  god

We arrived via different modes of transportation, at various days and times, but we’re all here safe and sound!  Jenifer and Mark drove straight through…14 hours! Others flew into NO, still others came via a van.   We are joined by a small group from Nashville.   Some of the guys are pouring over plans for a house we will begin tomorrow.   Temps and humidity will likely be equal tomorrow:  90/90.

Worse challenges so far:  Which man get control of the remote?  What happened to the mac and cheese we bought.

More tomorrow!

This may be a particularly self-centered post.  I sing.  I sing a lot.  Always have.  Apparently when I was just a 3 or 4 years old, I learned to hum the Tennesee Waltz, well, just a few bars of it.  Frequently a song will be sung in church or choir and I will ask myself, “How long have you been singing this?”  After you turn 60 the answer to that question can easily be 45 or fifty years!

I sang with an ensemble in high school, having been encouraged and coached by Ralph Meranto.  Singing the tenor line began with the ensemble.  We were good.  We had fun.  We really worked at getting the songs right.  We got good scores at Ohio regional and state contests.  I can remember looking at one another while we sang to make sure we were all moving at the same tempo and making good entrances.

As a tenor, I was essential to various church choirs.  Even when I was traveling, I would make my self available to the choir to wrangle and invitation to sing.  I did some solo work when I was younger, but have had more opportunity for this since coming to Canton.

I joined a men’s chorus a few years ago.  Rehearsing with the chorus reacquainted me with my voice, restored my range and challenged me to sing correctly.  In the meantime, I’ve developed a small list of solo’s to do in church.

What pleasure this gives.  To sing a Psalm or an “upgraded” old standard, is to preach with one’s whole body and communicate such a range of feelings and thoughts.  That I can make, what sounds to me on the “inside,”  a pleasant sound, and a broad range, is deeply satisfying.

A woman asked me a surprising question on Sunday, after I sang two solos for worship, “Which would you rather do, preach or sing?”  My answer surprised me.  After only a moment’s reflection, I said, “sing, of course.”  She’s a singer, too.  She understood immediately.

Its for the joy of the song, of course.  But it is surely a God-birthed pleasure to turn noise into music.

He was tall, almost gaunt. His smile, which appeared frequently, looked more like a grimmace to me than and expression of delight or approval. He was from the South. But what made him dangerous wasn’t his appearance. it was his vision: an end to poverty housing. By the time I met him in the early 80’s he had amply demostrated that it could be done; that it must be. What was dangerous was that he believed that country pastor like be to make it get done. He coaxed me and a group I had helped form, into Habitat for Humanity. What was dangerous was what he took literally from the Bible. He wasn’t a literalist, but when the bbile says you ought not to charge interest on the poor, YOU DON’T CHARRE INTEREST ON THE POOR! His exegesis of the Lord’s Prayer included this insight: When we pray, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” it means that earth ought to reflect heaven. And, if we can’t imagine shacks in heaven, then we sure shouldn’t tolerate them on earth.

Millard and Linda Fuller were eased out Habitat International a few years ago. The organization never out grew his vision, but he was not well suited to lead an organization as large as this one had become. Sad. But even sadder is that Millard passed away a few weeks ago. My wife tells me that there was no mention of this at the state conference of affiliates last weekend.

But this evening, our local affiliate dedicated 8 homes. As host pastor I offered dedicatory remarks and prayers. I tried to make this point: Through this dangerous man, God began a good work, and everytime another house is dedicated, that good work begun is brought to completion. His dream, his vision, his conviction takes shape with every nail, every shingle, every family lifted out of the misery of a shack and taking possession of a simple decent home. However, it is also true that God is beginning a good work in the lives of these families. I urged them to bring it to completion by paying it forward.

St. Pauls says that there is a house in heaven for us, not made with human hands. I trust Millard is enjoying his mansion in the sky.

Love in the Mortar Joints, the theology of the hammer, No more shacks are all titles of books he wrote

I wrote this note to someone who wanted more detail about my Lenten practices. She recently underwent surgery.

Before I tell you my routine, I should put a few things in context. I mix four different practices. Each one of them can be pursued with benefit, and the more time a experience you have with them the more benefit can be gained. But they take some time to learn, so patience and persistence is key.

1. Prayer…I use a fairly involved devotional that includes formal “churchy” prayers to intercessory prayer to silent meditation.
2. Reading and praying scriptures.
3. journalling…this needs to learned..its more than a diary.
4. Fasting…I have reduced my lunch to the minimum needed for a Type II diabetic. There is a lot to know about fasting properly for health and for prayer.
5. Study…devotional readings, theology
6. A Daily examen…contemplating ways in which I have served or not served God’s purposes over the course of the day.

My morning devotions can mean an investment of as little as 15 minutes to as much as 45 min. Included in this time is praying, reading and praying scriptures, study, journaling, and silent meditation. Silent meditation is its own challenge. Our heads and hearts are filled with “noise:” worries, memories, things we need to do, hursts we’ve received and others we given. All of this needs to be patiently listened to and given over to God before we find silence. The payoff is that it is in the silence that I most of have hear God’s voice.

Fasting is the prayerful denial of an appetite such as food. You want to be hungry and then empty. One learns to be hungry but to choose God and Spirit over food. Again, I find that God blesses the fast. His grace is made perfect in our weakness.

I have just started the Daily Examen. When Judith goes to bed at 10:00 or so I still have to stay up inorder to take my meds at the recommended 11-12 hour interval. I used just watch TV. Now I remind my self of my personal mission statement: Be a redemptive presence in the lives of the people I meet… then call to mind each encouneter I had with each person. I answer a series of questions about my dilgence, focus and behavior during the day. at the end I praise God for the day and confess whatever sins I feel I need to share with God.

If you want to start on this journey, I would not recommend you jump into the deep end of the pool. Start learning to pray devotionaly. You might want to try Maxie Dunnam’s Workbook of Living Prayer. (amazon has it.) That’s actually where my journey began…35 years ago! I’m getting to be such an old man.

Let me know how I can help. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness…they will be satisfied.

Be patient with your healing. This would be a great time to start this.

I recently urged the congregation to take on daily reading of the Bible as a mark of their discipleship. My reasons were the usual: to understand God’s dealings with us, God’s people and to allow the text to form our behavior. But I once again urged the congregation to learn how to pray the scriptures. Praying the scripture means using scripture as a means of meditation or contemplation. leading to the blessings of silence. In my own life, God stirs my imagination, creativity and soul in my silence. I covet this experience for every believer. But how to begin?

I have found praying the Psalms very satisfying. While not everyone will find my approach as meaningful, I offer the following suggestions:
• Spend some time learning about the Psalms. Read a commentary, or seek a Bible with an introduction to this collection. There are different kinds of Psalms, written at different times, for different circumstances. An awareness of these kinds things will help your engagement with the text.
• Remember this is poetry. The Psalms are filled with metaphor, simile, hyperbole, and changes in voice.
• Live with a Psalm or portion of a Psalm for at least a week. I tend to follow this pattern:
o On my first reading, I will read the Psalm to myself, once silently, once in a whisper. Hearing the words can make a difference on how I engage the Psalm.
o I note, sometimes mentally, sometimes in writing, questions of meaning that occur to me.
o I will seek answers to my “head” questions. Sometimes, I decide they are not important to my further engagement with the Psalm.
o On the following days, I repeat the silent and whispered readings.
o In the repetition, I seek to “own” the Psalm. If the Psalm is emotional, I seek to find that emotion in me. If the Psalm is a lament or complaint. I try to identify with the complaint.
o I embrace in prayer the affirmations of God. (You are my refuge and strength.) I will prayer them repeatedly for a time. (Even five seconds can be meaningful. Finding the space and silence for minutes can be sublime.)
o I embrace the requests the Psalmist makes of God. (Rescue me or Show Me Your Face, for instance.) Again this done by repetition.
o Throughout this time of meditation I try to stay in the moment. This is learned and earned capacity. It takes practice and patience. It has to be the subject of different article.
• Special note has to be taken of the language about the “enemy.” The exact circumstances that prompted these kinds of psalms are lost to us. I have found that for the purposes of meditation, it works best if I claim this language as metaphor for the enemies within me that subvert my spiritual life, my faithfulness, or relationship. My enemies are such things as procrastination, anxiety about time, shame about my sinfulness, and arrogance.

• Be patient with this. The more you enter into the time with God through the Psalms, the more you will be led to pleasures God intends for you from knowing Him and being known by Him.